Quotes...

I found this post from months ago saved in my drafts, but never posted. These are quotes my friends have said, mostly from last year. They make me smile. Especially the ones from my residents... I miss them!

Tinille: "Remember when everyone stole the jam at Angies? ...I told them they were awful people."

Megan: "The sign says no flirting while climbing."
Eric: "WHAT?! ...Too late."

Tinille: "You know what? Get married!! What else are you gonna do?!"

Krista: "I think them together is an idiot!!"

Sara: "I like surprises... Hint hint.... SURPRISE ME!!"

Eric: "This is from my heart. ...And that tree."

Whitney: "This is my way of saying... You have to eat that banana."

Meg: "We're off like a herd of turtles!"
Megan: "Come on, we're faster than a herd of turtles."
Meg: "In water?"
Megan" "...WELL, one of them has a broken leg and the rest of them have to wait for him because... They like him."
Meg: "O..kay... We're off like a herd of crippled turtles!"

Tinille: "Learn to not put your purse in the way!!"
Whitney: "Learn to walk AND see!"


Wyatt: "So you're just going to go to college and get married?! That's STUPID!!"

Tinille: "I could stalk him!"


Megan: "What was your type back then?"
Micah: "Girl."


Julian: "You're like the Hitler of the building... But NICE!"
Chris: "You wouldn't kill all the Jews, you would just help the German nation rise to it's full potential!!"

Kylie: "I like your shirt."
Skyler: "I wore it yesterday too."
Kylie: "Skyler! That's not what you say when someone compliments you! You're supposed to say thank you!"
Skyler: "Well, you didn't tell me you liked it YESTERDAY!!"

Skyler: "The temperature is NOT happy!"

Chris: "Megan, LOOK at Wilson. There's a reason you think the Fire Marshall is big and scary and he doesn't."

Chris: "You're a DUMB Alec!"

Skyler: "Who do I have to kill to be the prettiest?"

Skyler: "...Wanna join my harem?"

Julian: "2 + 2 does NOT equal 5! It equals approximately 4!"

Chris: "I know I'm kind of a creeper anyway, but why do I HAVE to be the creeper??"

Julian: "You can tickle my back if you want to. I won't be mad."

Skyler: "You were BORN a fire hazard!!"

Chris: "There were 3 people in my Calc 2 class... I was one of them."

Skyler: "I'm bald now! I can do whatever I want!"

Chris: "Why am I wearing shoes?"
Julian: "Why am I wearing PANTS??"

Julian: "Is it illegal to do illegal fireworks here?"

Chris: "Megan, I wish the best for you. So that I can take it away."

Skyler: "I don't believe in you. Ergo... You don't exist."

Skyler: "I feel like you just rummaged around in my soul and then ran away!"

Skyler: "If I had a school bus I would run you over with it."

Skyler: "Sometimes we go on Tuesday, and sometimes we go on Thursday, so it averages out to be Wednesday. Wing Wednesday."
Chris: "It scares me how much sense that makes."

Skyler: "I remember the look in your eyes when you were trying to kill me with them."
Chris: "Power rangers! Assemble!"

Chris: "That was nothing like that melon I practiced on!!"

Mike: "...This is why I do not have a woman."

Chris: "Loving and stalking are NOT the same thing, Megan... I don't love you."

Skyler: "Don't worry, we gave him a nickname... It's Satan."

Skyler: "Do bears poop in the woods??"
Chris: "Skyler, have you ever SEEN a bear poop in the woods?"
Skyler: "Yes I have. On T.V."

Skyler: "Kristi! Write this in my book of feats! We just convinced her that having AIDS would be an OK thing!"

Skyler: "...I'm pretty sure my friends are worse than my enemies."

Skyler: "Would you like a partridge in a pear tree with that??"

Chris: "STOP BEING A GIRL!!"

Skyler: "Look, I'm following you!"


Richard: "If I see you texting during training I will KILL you. And then hire someone else."

Courtney: "Sorry, I'm a woman and I park like one."

Steve: "I wish someone was drinking alcohol or doing drugs so we could BUST them!"

Courtney: "There's just one problem... I'm blacklisted at K-Mart, so... I can't shop there."

Steve: "HOW is a Darth Vader helmet not displayable?? Are you KIDDING me?!?!"

Jess: "I'm making fun of you. In my head."

Courtney: "Excuse me, but are you an IDIOT??"

Steve: "I'm happy you're happy. Cause otherwise, life would be crappy."

Courtney: "I'm really hyper. I've been eating marshmallows."

Richard: "That just goes to show that you're CRAZY..."

Steve: "I think Ken would make the perfect polygamist."

Courtney: "Those are Satan's office chairs."

Courtney: "We make like, .53 cents an hour. People who are AT the poverty level look at us and say, 'HA!'"

Richard: "Who cares about smelling good??"
[Hands go up]
Richard: "YOU FREAKS!!"

The quotes are probably only funny to me,  but I laughed really hard reading through them again.